I am the Mother of a fit thrower. I think I need to form a support group. There currently isn’t one (I’ve checked). My little fit thrower, who also has ADHD, has graduated to the stage in her fit throwing abilities of punching and kicking anyone and everything who gets in her way during one of her “Episodes”. This has been going on for months. You heard me. Months. These fits, though never producing desirable results for her- have gotten worse and worse as time has gone on. We have graduated from random fit throwing at bedtime lasting only 5-10 minutes, to several fits throughout the day lasting anywhere from 45 minutes to 3 hours. Oh what I wouldn’t give for a tiny 10 minute fit!
WHY is she throwing these fits you ask? Simple. No, it’s not due to her ADHD. She does not have a less common anger something or another issue that can be summed up in 4 letters either. She is throwing fits because….. wait for it….. drum roll please………..
BECAUSE SHE’S NOT GETTING HER WAY.
This morning, and I use this only as my (for instance) because this was the fit that broke the momma’s calm- began at 7 AM. It was 20 degrees outside. I pulled two long sleeve shirts, two pairs of pants, two jackets, two hats, to pairs of gloves, and two scarves from the closet. Simple right? One would think. Here comes the fit.
I want to wear a skirt to school! Pants are stupid!
It’s very cold outside today. You and your sister need to wear pants.
No! I wanna wear a skirt! These pants are dumb! Uniforms are dumb! I don’t want to wear one!
Uniforms are the rule, and we need to follow the rules. You can’t wear a skirt today, it’s too cold. You can wear a skirt tomorrow if it’s warmer.
No! Rules are dumb! This uniform is dumb! You’re dumb! I’m not wearing it!
And then the fit happened. Suddenly I was face to face with a 9 year old little person who was refusing to get up off the floor and get dressed. She was not going to take her PJ’s off, and she didn’t care how late we were going to be or how much I didn’t like it. Since this is my first blog on this outlet, I should probably explain that we are in the process of adopting through our state, and the agency in which we are adopting from has 9,000 policies. Policy being what it is- we are not allowed to use any physical discipline. HUGE no no in the land of little people and their caseworkers. I’m sure there are those who do not follow the policy to the letter, but we are not one of them. Policy being policy- I tried to talk my way out of the fit. For twenty minutes.
The only thing that this accomplished was getting me kicked in the face, slapped, punched, and bitten. By a 9 year old. In the floor. Still in her PJ’s. That’s when it happened. That’s when Momma decided she had put up with enough fits for the sake of fits. You heard me ladies and gents. I was DONE.
I picked her up, took off her PJ’s, threw the uniform shirt on and then sat her down on her butt in front of me to put on the very pants that started this whole thing. Took less than 20 seconds. Don’t test me Little girl! I have had YEARS of dressing wiggling toddlers. YOU are no different. Once the pants were on and boots were laced it was off to take the morning pill. She refused. I plugged her nose and wouldn’t you know it- her mouth came open just enough to pop the pill in. Took less than 5 seconds. I knew all those years of giving pills to cats at the vet clinic would teach me something! Her breakfast that had been sitting on the table growing cold was placed in front of her, at which time she threw it accross the room.
Ok. You can eat breakfast at school then.
And off we went to the bathroom to brush teeth & hair. Nope. Not gonna do that either huh? I reached for the hairbrush and ran it through a few times, all the while being punched and screamed at. I put toothpaste on her toothbrush and offered it to her. Slapped out of my hand and against the mirror in two seconds flat.
Ok. You can have morning breath all day.
Off to the car, we’re going to be late. Nope. Still not going to get along. My teenagers, (Obviously woken up from the commotion) came out of the room, picked up the little one, and carried her 9 year old butt out the door and put her in the car. Did I mention they were still in their PJ’s and didn’t have any shoes on? Again…. 20 degree weather. They made sure to give me the “Look” on their way back inside.
Two minutes later we made it to the school and the fit was seemingly forgotten.
I love you, have a good day, get out of my car.